Question: "I'm a healthy 20-something on my first pregnancy, and I'm just itching to tell people I'm expecting. When should you tell people you're pregnant — do you really have to wait until your second trimester to share?"
Congratulations on the big news! It's really tough to keep this secret when you just want to shout from the nearest rooftop, "I'm having a baby!" Most moms-to-be do wait to share their newsuntil after week 13 of pregnancy, when the rate of miscarriage goes way down. But that doesn't mean you have to. Consider that healthy women start off with a lower rate of miscarriage than other moms-to-be since they're not as vulnerable to the infections and diseases that can cause problems in early pregnancy. You also lower your risk of miscarriage by not smoking, drinking, or using drugs. Plus, younger women, in general, are less likely to miscarry than older women: A 20-year-old's odds of losing a pregnancy are about 15 percent, while a 40-year-old's is more than double that. So you really may have less reason to wait the full, agonizing 13 weeks to fill people in about the tot in your tummy.
No matter the stats — or what other expecting moms do — it's up to you when to tell people you're pregnant. You've probably already shared the news with your partner (if not, do clue him in before you breathe a word to anyone else). Get his take on when he thinks you should tell people you're pregnant, and agree on a plan.
If you're a little nervous about revealing your news too early, perhaps share it with only close family members or friends who you know can keep a secret. They may be busting to spread the word, so be sure to say — in no uncertain terms — that this info is classified and that they can't tell anyone until you give the green light to blab. Do take caution when it comes to co-workers — your manager should be the first in your office to know (get tips on how to tell your boss you're pregnant).
Some moms-to-be feel they wouldn't shy away from sharing any sad news, even if they were faced with a miscarriage. And so, they reason, why not broadcast the baby bulletin as soon as possible? Think about that too before you spread the word.
Of course, if you're especially proud to be pregnant (of course!) and dying to tell someone — anyone — right now, share your secret with a stranger on the bus. Who knows, you might even get a seat!
Here's to your happy announcement, whenever you make it,
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